posted by Paul:

It's already May?!?!?!?  What in the world has happened to this year, already?  It
seems like April snuck up on me, picked my pocket, and disappeared again before I
even knew it was here.  All of a sudden we've gone from a comfortable 15 months
until the wedding to a stress inducing, hair pulling realization that it's only 4 1/2
months away!!!!  Where did the months go???  We don't have enough time - things
are totally getting out of control!  I CAN'T HANDLE IT!!!!  Flowers, food, feathers ...
(wait a minute - did Carol really mention peacock feathers the other day?)  WHAT'S
GOING ON?!?!?  There are reservations to make, invites to send - how am I going to
handle all of this?

Alright, it's crunch time.  Time to buckle up, Paul:

1)  Rent tuxedos for groomsmen.
ok, ok.  I can handle this.  The store across from work had some pea green tuxedos in
the window.  Can't be picky.  Gimme six - I think I can find a yellow tie somewhere.  
Check.

2)  Get gifts for the groomsmen & bridesmaids.
um, um.  I have a handful of peanuts in my pocket?  Maybe that'll work?  No?  How
about some nice cashews from the CVS?  Alright.  This'll work - upscale stuff. Good.

3)  Decide on flowers for the ceremony.
yep, yep.  Got it.  The library across from the church has some nice lillies in their
garden.  A little midnight shearing and we're all set ... got it.

4)  Cake
What???  We don't have a cake???  Uh-oh, uh-oh.  Not good.  People are going to
be expecting a cake.  Maybe we can trick them into thinking a pile of whipped cream is
our cake?  Huh?  Put a few sprinkles on top and I'm sure nobody will think twice?  
Come on - work with me people.

...

I'm sorry - what's that sweetie?  "put down the keyboard slowly ...?"  "step away from
the computer ...?"

But, sweetie, we've got things to do!  Items to check off the list!  People to call!  
Reservations to make!  Food to taste, dresses to fit, cakes to frost, gifts to buy, invites
to send, table settings to decorate!  WE CAN'T AFFORD TO BE SANE, RIGHT
NOW!!!!

<pant, pant, pant>

...

Alright ... alright ... I'm breathing again.  I'm better.  We're not in that bad of a position,
you're right.  We still have 4 1/2 months.  Things are coming together.  We're pretty
far along.  All we really need to do is go and order the wedding bands and we're ...

What's that sweetie?  Yes - wedding bands have diamonds, I ... what?  WHAT???  We
need to go NOW!!  We're behind?!?!?  We can't afford to rest?!?!?  But what about
not stressing?  Being calm?

Not when there are diamonds involved?!?!?

I .. well ... ok - just let me turn off the comput......
May 1st, 2007
September 15, 2007